


Love alone to heal

by WatchforWitches



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Idk what this is fully tbh, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sad Magnus Bane, Snapshots, Soft Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22209337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchforWitches/pseuds/WatchforWitches
Summary: Magnus has bad days, but so does everyone, Alec knows.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86





	Love alone to heal

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, I'm not really sure what this is beyond me just typing nonsensically for about an hour. Just some soft snapshot into Alec and Magnus' life that I hope you enjoy.

_You don't know what to say to him._   
_You think of nothing_   
_And a million things_   
_All at once._

_-_

Alec makes it home to a silent loft. A quiet glow emanating across the floorboards from the still setting sun, the only light source Alec can see. He feels like a livewire, the fading effects of his runes making for an almost buzzing feeling across his skin. His hands are still a mess of ichor, his hair still slightly sweat damp. He needs a shower before anything else, but the silence of the loft feels almost unreal in an eerie way.

He needs to find Magnus first then, if not to quell his own unease then just to see him at all. Patrols like this one tended to drain him, tended to only serve to remind him why he was doing any of it at all. To keep people safe, to keep him safe, to stop the worry.

It didn't always work, Alec would always worry, he knew.

Stepping past the threshold, he discards his boots with the thought that he will clean them later. Padding on socked feet to the kitchen, he finds a half empty cup of still almost warm tea in Magnus' favorite mug. He quickly pours himself a glass of water and downs it all, before refilling it and bringing it with him to the bedroom. He finds Magnus here, curled into himself in a cat like way that makes Alec smile softly. He remembers when the feelings rising in him now caused him nothing but shame and fear, and is struck with gratitude for the way his life has unfolded.

He leans down when he's close enough and places a gentle kiss to the crown of his love's head. His hair bristles his lips and tickles his nose and he knows that it's real. "Mmm," Magnus' eyes flutter open at the presence, and the bags under his eyes showcase just how necessary this sleep is. Alec feels a light guilt at waking him.

"Go back to sleep. I'm just going to shower."

Magnus nods then, closing his eyes and settling back into the pillows again. Alec stands and admires how young he looks against the golden sheets, hands fisted in the duvet and hair a mess across the pillows.

He showers quickly, having gotten good at the routine of washing off after a patrol gone south. He scrubs through his hair with his fingers, inhaling the calming scent of light honey and lavender- a new shampoo Magnus had brewed just for Alec. It smells like home feels, and he closes his eyes while rinsing it off, letting the steam and warm water unfurl some of the knots in his shoulders.

Once he's dried off and wearing warm pj bottoms, he moves back to the bed, letting himself sigh heavily as he sinks into the plush mattress. He turns into Magnus, wrapping a shower warmed arm around his torso, inhaling again only once they are tangled together. "I missed you," he breaths out softly, only when he knows Magnus is still awake.

"Missed you too," Magnus mummers, his voice lulled by sleep. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a couple of loose drevak demons. Are you okay?" Alec inquires, thinking of the abandoned tea, the relatively early hour for Magnus to be tucked into bed in such a manner.

"I'm-" Magnus hesitates on his answer, breathes in and shakes his head, "I'm better now."

Alec's voice feels stuck now, there are a million things he wants to say, to ask. But he can't land on one good question, one solid reassurance. He's not totally aware of why the fog has descended on Magnus now, if there was a certain trigger or if it's simply the weight of years imposing themselves onto him. He wants to ask, but also doesn't want to break the quietness that Magnus himself had enveloped himself in just in case it was needed. "If you want to talk," Alec offers quietly, "I'm always here for you."

Magnus takes a breath at this, nods against Alec's shoulder. "I know. Thank you love. Some days are just heavier than others."

Alec swallows, nods back at this. "I understand," he says, because he does. He's had a fair share of his own dark days, and he's only one man with one lifetime. "I'm here whenever you need."

"I love you," Magnus whispers back simply, as if it was the answer to all of it. Alec's not naive enough to think that his love can heal Magnus of his hurts, not anymore, but he knows how much easier it can feel to not be alone. He knows even on his bad days that someone loves him, even when his brain refuses to acknowledge it. "Thank you."

"Always," Alec replies, kissing the shell of Magnus' ear softly.

The two stay cocooned in the warm blankets until Alec forgets the time, until the golden of the setting sun is long gone. Alec holds Magnus as he breaths, breaths with him even when Magnus' breathes become more ragged. And no, he's not naive enough to think his love can heal anything, but he doesn't think it's a bad place to start.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos/Comments/Feedback are all welcome and greatly appreciated!


End file.
